It’s Not Just You

Multi-Cultural Office Staff Sitting Having Meeting Together“I thought it was just me” is a familiar phrase of many of my divorce coaching clients, until I assure them that their thoughts and feelings regarding separation and divorce are completely normal. The look of relief and encouragement on their faces is part of why I love what I do so much. During our one to one sessions, as clients explore their pain, disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness, relief, fear, and ambivalence, they begin to feel validated by the fact that their emotions are extremely common and completely understandable.

This phenomenon contributes to my clarity around the importance of these individuals connecting with each other for support, understanding, and to deepen their feelings of validation; and that is precisely what so many have asked for over the years. Clients have requested groups where they can feel safe to discuss what they are going through with others who are experiencing similar divorce related challenges and emotions.

The Family Law and Divorce Firm of Wisselman and Associates understands that exact need within people who are experiencing this life transition. That is why they have collaborated with me and generously offered space in their beautiful Great Neck, New York conference room to host these much needed groups. They are concerned about the needs of people during this painful time, before during and beyond the crucial legal aspect of the process which they so expertly and comprehensively provide.

We have developed four monthly groups to suit various needs of individuals during this transition and there is no fee to attend. I will be facilitating these empowerment groups using a positive coaching focus along with strategies to help you successfully navigate this transition and create the new life that you desire. There will be a different divorce related topic discussed each month along with open discussion, questions, and answers.

These groups are for you if you are:

  • Contemplating divorce or your spouse is considering it
  • You are headed for divorce and you’re not sure how and where to begin
  • You are in any stage of separation or divorce

Choose from the following groups:

  • Separation and Divorce Discussion
  • Women’s Divorce: Moving Forward
  • Divorcing Dads Discussion
  • Divorce Over 50 Discussion

Click here for schedule and further information

Feel free to reach out with questions:


Your 2017 Dating Success Recipe

Fun chef

I am asked for an exact formula and recipe for dating success by many individual coaching clients, workshop participants, and media interviewers. Although I have powerful guidelines to share that have helped many bring the love into their lives that they desire, I must first answer your question with a question. How happy are you with your current situation? If your answer is a very positive one, then you’ve got this, rinse and repeat. If your answer reflects that you are seeking different results, then let’s keep this in mind for starters: “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re gonna get what you’ve always gotten.” So, we need to change how we’ve been approaching our love life if we want to generate more desirable effects.

Now that we’re clear about the desire to change things up by transforming what we have done before, we can move on to determining the specifics. Here’s the bottom line, each of us needs to figure out what it is that we need to work on, ie what patterns, default behaviors, thoughts, and energy we need to transform. For example, I am often asked by women, “Should I text the guy after the date or wait for him to contact me?” The response to this question requires introspection on your part. If your pattern is typically to text immediately with effusive thank yous and compliments, then your work might be to hold off until the next day or until he contacts you. In this way, you are working to transform the energy that you are conveying, which is often more important than the exact timing of the text. So now your energy is becoming more confident and independent as opposed to overeager. If your pattern is to be “stand-offish” and the guy may not know that you’re interested, then your work might be to send a quick text that reflects some warmth. Now your energy is becoming more open to connection and intimacy rather than disinterest.

So, secret revealed. There is a completely different recipe for how each of us can improve our dating success. We need to tune into our inner wisdom, be honest with ourselves and identify those patterns. When we are each conscious of the individual personal growth that is required for our unique journey, we can change what we’ve always done, so we don’t get what we’ve always gotten, when what we really want is a completely different result. What step will you take towards transforming your patterns today?

Contact Coach Heidi at for a complimentary consultation to begin creating an individualized plan to transform your specific patterns that are getting in the way of the love that you desire in your life.