Who am I?

MirrorWhoAmIWomanI was confronted head on with this question, during the months that I developed my new website for Reinvention Life Coaching. There are so many aspects and facets to what I do and who I work with, that it felt daunting to express it all in an accurate and clear manner. Yes, my graphic designer was an expert at his job, but it was up to me, not him, to figure out the exact answer to the question, “Who am I?”

During the weeks and months leading up to my website launch, I grappled with that question every day and often as I tossed and turned at night. I carefully analyzed who I help, how I help them, why my help is effective, and what my positive traits are that successfully drive this entire process. Eventually, I reached a deep clarity that I think has tremendous relevance to my clients. The act of naming my strengths, talents, and what I have to offer the world was in itself, a profound confidence building experience for me.

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Divorce and Gratitude

Autumn surrenderHow do I dare put those two words in the same title? I dare because they belong together. How so? Divorce can often bring with it enormous pain, difficulty, fear, uncertainty, anger, and sadness. No matter how difficult your process is, or has been, I challenge you to discover exactly what you are grateful for. I’ll take this a step further, what is it that you feel grateful for that directly relates to your difficult divorce?

Are you grateful that you discovered a strength and resiliency that you never knew you had before? Is it your independent spirit that has surfaced which you appreciate? Maybe you are thankful that a pressing tension has been lifted, whether you chose to leave the marriage or not. Perhaps you are grateful that whatever held you back from accomplishing your goals in your past relationship has been removed and you are free now to make them happen. Has your divorce opened you up and made you more comfortable asking those close to you for emotional support? Are you beginning new friendships? Can you now relate to your children in a more open and relaxed manner than previously?

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Dating Lessons from Costa Rica

Hawksbill sea turtle swimming in Indian ocean in Seychelles

It hit me as I watched the freshly hatched Black Turtles find their way down the beach to the ocean. These creatures are unambivalent about following their instincts. When the naturalist set them free, just hours old, they did exactly what they needed to do to continue their lives the way they were meant to.

As I stood there in awe, I asked the expert, “How do they know where the ocean is?” He smiled, put his hand up to his ear and answered simply, “They listen for the water.” His words stuck with me. [Read more…]

Divorce and “Hurricane Sandy”

Ocean stormAs I sat on the couch reading while the storm progressed, I was taken back to another turbulent and uncertain time in my life which felt somehow similar; my divorce. As I encouraged myself to remain calm in the face of the storm, the fierce sound of the wind and the rain rattling my home, shook my confidence as well. The analogy became crystal clear, because it elicited the same vaguely panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach.

In preparation for “Sandy,” much like my divorce, I had done what I could do to be ready. I had procured my flashlights, candles, and nonperishable foods. I had filled up large pots and my bathtub with water. I had cancelled all appointments to stay safe indoors.  But still, the anxiety and uncertainty crept into my being when I felt my vulnerability inside of the old, original French doors of my home.

I had done what I could to prepare for my divorce as well. I had followed my attorney’s instructions down to the last paperwork detail. I had consulted with a financial professional. I had disposed of photos and items that would potentially disturb my “moving on” process. But still, the anxiety and uncertainty crept into my being when I felt my vulnerability in an unknown life, different than I had ever expected or anticipated.

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